January 23, 2013

Catholic Marriage Series: Guest Post - The D Word

I am so excited to share Jenna's guest post today for the Catholic Marriage Series!  Whenever I read her posts, I feel like I know her from the way that she writes.  She's fun and hilarious, and you have to read this fantastic piece of marriage advice she learned from her marriage prep class!  

Mike and I communicate a lot everyday. He is usually the only potty-trained human I ever interact with all day, so he kind of has to listen to me talk when he gets home. Thankfully, he is interested, I think. mike_jenna 

 I usually detail him of our exciting day of going to the store to pick up a pepper, emptying the dishwasher, and interacting with my Internet friends. He gives me the run-down on the machine with the thing and the parts and the guy with the problem in the meeting. 

 Not only do we communicate, we also fight - which I guess is a form of communication, just louder and usually unfruitful. Our last fight? I'm pretty sure I awoke him from a peaceful slumber to help me drag a box of maternity clothes out of the closet because I desperately needed my stretch pants, and when he nicely obliged, he dropped some sort of toy that was on top of them, and I got upset because I'm pregnant (read: for no reason at all). 

But, with all of the talking, there is one thing we will never say. 

Mike and I never, ever utter the D word. I'll say it once here, but then I'm done, got it? Divorce. 

It all started in our marriage prep class; way back before my uterus was occupied on a regular basis. Our teacher told us that her and her husband never utter the D word, ever. She talked a lot about how words are powerful and just using that word, even in a joking manner, invites the idea into your marriage. And, we know how that Devil works. He takes that invitation and runs with it. Soon, it becomes commonplace. Soon the idea grows. Soon it becomes viable. Soon it becomes an option. 

She went on to say we need to use uplifting, powerful words that are full of life...kind of like how our marriage is supposed to be life-giving. Words like, "I'm sorry" or "I love you" or even just "I can't talk to you right now; your face makes me angry." What? It's better than the D word, I'm telling you. 

So, Mike and I promised each other that we would never say it out loud or in our heads. We would never open that door. I let it slip once in a joking manner, and Mike squashed it right on the spot. He takes it seriously, and so do I. 

We aren't letting that idea into our marriage because we made a promise to each other and a covenant with God. Even if we make each other want to pluck out our eyelashes at times, we're stuck together. Want to join us? 

Jenna is a stay-at-home mom from the Midwest. She has one daughter outside of her body and a son inside of it. She is married to Mike...obviously, and spends her days getting peppers from the store and creating content for her blog, Call Her Happy.

Please email me at catholiccookiejar@gmail.com if you'd like to write a guest post for the series! 


  1. Good advice...I just love Jenna's blog :)

  2. Lovely post! Love her humor :) The world needs LOTS of humor, as does marriage :)

  3. Wow, I love this idea! I need to keep this in mind for my future marriage, if it exists. My boyfriend in high school and I dated twice (ew, still can't believe that), but the second time we dated, we had this running joke of saying "We're through!" to each other... until the day when it wasn't a joke anymore. So I can totally understand this idea of not even letting yourself think horrid words because they do pollute your attitude towards each other!

    I too often have to run to the store just to pick up a pepper or the like. Annoying.

    1. It's so true, isn't it? Your future hubs will thank you :)

      And, aren't peppers so annoying...and onions.

  4. Ok I am an idiot. I thought you were going to "damn" was your D-word and I was all "Impressive, guys!" But obviously it's better to say d*mn every once in while and NEVER say divorce. Not that you say that word. Ahh... I shouldn't even publish this comment, except I do want to say, "Amen, sister friend!" We've always felt the same way and it's such a utterly wonderful feeling knowing, no matter what we are going to work this out!

    1. Well, I'm glad you did publish it :) And, much to my dismay, we do let that D word fly a lot around here...usually after bedtime though! The other D word, much worse!

  5. Great advice grasshoppa! The evil one lurks around us everywhere. Why give him an invitation?

  6. Love this :o) It's so true! Whenever I hear people joke about "the d word" I think that they must consider it an option deep, deep down.

  7. sigh...me and the hubster always promised each other that we would NEVER EVER EVER EVER let that word make its way into our arguments or even jokes. We have to learn to fight clean because this word made its way into our house during an angry time, it broke me down and I can tell you that it's true, it has given way to thoughts of DID HE SAY IT BECAUSE HE HAS CONSIDERED IT?? I pray that we can eliminate it and close the door to the ugly thoughts that it comes with!
    on a brighter note, I love the humor of the article and the thought behind it :) I know we can all apply it to our lives :)